🌼to know yourself🌼

We used to have this value education class every year when I was in school and the same question was asked at the beginning of the lesson: who are you?

I’d write my name. I’d say I was a daughter, a sister, a Scorpio (I don’t know why, but I take great pride in saying that I’m a Scorpio). And then I’d write some things that described me, like “I am someone who likes to read” or something around that line. But as I answered this question, I always felt empty. I felt like I didn’t know myself and that frustrated me a lot. Who was I? Why was it so hard to answer this question? 

All these years I spent in school, I wasted most of it trying to “find myself”. I know there is a romantic idea of life being a journey to understand yourself and to attain self actualization or whatever but finally, I realize the answer to this question. I need not have a deep and insightful view about myself, something, I guess I’ve been searching for. All these deep insightful things I’d read were over rated and had warped my idea of how I should be. It had made me feel almost ashamed that I wasn’t a certain type of person, and that I will forever regret.

So, who am I?

I am a daughter.

I am a sister.

I am a Scorpio.

I am someone who likes to read.

I am filled with regrets.

I can’t “live the moment”.

I have a pretty pessimistic view about life.

I want to write amazing, beautiful stuff but I continue to fail because I keep using words like stuff (any advice? Anyone?)

I have extremely bizarre tastes in whatever I do. I enjoy reading poems about heartbreaks and death but then again, I often find myself reading memes about Donald Trump’s hair.

I love Pirates of the Caribbean but I also have a hard drive full of Korean drama.

This is who I am, as weirdly normal and boring as it may be. Simple as that ^_^. I am not a sophisticated chic girl who goes around inspiring people and that’s okay. 

I’m finally letting go of this mask I’ve been unknowingly(?) holding all this time.